Frequently Asked Questions by Parents

The following is a list of frequently asked questions by parents who suspect their children may be abusing substances including alcohol.  If you have asked any of these questions, contact us for help:

   Talking about Drug Use:

1. How can I tell if my child is high on marijuana?
2. What can I say if I find drugs in my child's bedroom?
3. How do I talk with my son so he doesn't get defensive?
4. When do I start believing my daughter again?
5. How can I get my daughter to stop behaving this way?
6. Can I teach responsible drinking by buying my children beer, as long as he only drink in the house?

  Making decisions about my child's use of drugs/alcohol:

7. Should I bail my son out of jail?  They'll only release him into my custody?
8. Does he really need drug treatment?
9. My daughter used drugs not alcohol - why does she need to go to AA?

  Drug Testing:

10. How often should I drug test my child?
11. My kids say he can beat a drug test - is this true?
12. I heard that the only way to detect LSD is through a 'spinal tap', is this true?
13. What drugs need to be tested for?
14. What do I do if the drug test comes back positive?
15. How do I get my child to take a drug test?
16. Is drug testing reliable?
17. What is the time span needed that drugs can be detected in a urine sample?
18. Are drug tests blood or urine tests?
19. Which form of drug test is most reliable?

  Drug/Alcohol Treatment:

20. How do I know if my kids behavior is drug related or normal teenage behavior?
21. What is drug treatment?
22. Are there AA meetings for kids? NA meetings for kids?
23. Why is group treatment/therapy recommended for teens?
24. Can I count on my health insurance to pay for drug treatment?

  Parent's Responsibility:

25. Is it my fault that my child is using drugs?
26. Whose fault is it that my child is using drugs?
27. How long will drug treatment/ therapy last?
28. Do I need to participate in treatment too?
29. What is the difference between mental health therapy and drug treatment?
30. Do I need to clean out my liquor cabinet when my kid comes home from drug treatment?
31. When we go out to dinner, do I need to refrain from drinking alcohol if my child is alcoholic?
32. Should I search his room for drugs and paraphernalia?
33. What if I find drugs in his room - what do I do?
34. Do I have to throw my child out of the house if he doesn't comply with my rules?
35. How do I know if my child has relapsed?
36. When can my child come back and live with me after drug treatment?
37. What are appropriate rules for my house?
38. How many rules should there be?
39. What time is an appropriate curfew?
40. If my child has stopped using drugs is drinking OK?
41. Do I need to stop drinking because my son has a problem?
42. Do I need to let the rest of the family know about my daughter's problem with drug abuse?

Addiction - A Family Problem

If yours is a family where someone has an alcohol or drug problem, this year has taught you that - once again - nothing has changed.  Your loved one's problem is the same:  Last year he fell into the Christmas tree;  this year he fell into the house after too much drinking.  Last year she passed out in the bathroom;  this year she couldn't get up to go to work.

As a family, you have always looked the other way;  relieved when your loved one makes a promise to quit for good - same as he or she made last year.

But if you are getting tired or reliving your family's drama, you need to begin to realize that it is YOUR problem, not just his or hers.

If you want things to change, you need to ask yourself the following questions:  "Does your loved one really need help?"  and  "What kind of help should your loved one get?"

The trick is to get your loved one to accept help and to stay with what ever program is chosen.  In almost all cases, the impetus for getting someone to accept help has to come from you and other family members.

So instead of waiting for your loved one to break his or her promise again, call for help so that you can begin the process of recovery.